


Better Together

by OldWomanJosie



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Found Family, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-23 01:48:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11392818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OldWomanJosie/pseuds/OldWomanJosie
Summary: Rodney McKay never really had friends. Atlantis turned out to be an entirely different ballgame.





	Better Together

Rodney McKay never really had friends. Oh, sure, he had people whom he called friends, back in school. They ate lunch together and hung out at school together and all in all were on good terms. But Rodney always knew in the back of his mind that they liked him for his brain. He was the one they could depend on for the answers, so it was best to remain in his good graces.

This necessarily made McKay a bit of an asshole. He was the smartest in his class. He knew it, and they knew it. He was smug and secure in his knowledge that he had all of the answers. He was arrogant and conceited and the worst part was, he _was_ always right. There was nothing anyone could do about that, so they put up with Rodney's arrogance so that he would help them. And for a time, that was enough for Rodney. He could be with them and laugh with them and pretend that they really liked him for himself and not because he knew every answer without even glancing at a calculator or textbook.

But as time marched on, it started to bother him more. They weren't really his friends. They never talked outside of school. No one ever invited him to parties or just to hang out. They would talk at lunch about things they'd done together and Rodney would sit outside the small circle and wonder why he hadn't been asked along. Then the subject of trigonometry would come up and Rodney was everyone's best friend again.

One week in a fit of depression-driven curiousity, Rodney faked an illness. It was the week of the big math test. Concerned friends came by in a constant flood: calling and visiting. He even got a few bouquets of flowers. He thought wryly that maybe he should try this more often. It made him happy that there were people who cared. But he knew deep down that that wasn't really the case.

His point was proven when, next month, he faked another bout of the flu. That week there were no big tests, no urgent matters for brainy McKay to solve for his classmates. Nobody even noticed. Not one call, not one card. When Rodney returned to school, there was no fanfare. _Oh, you're back._ And that was that. Rodney wouldn't let himself cry over it. He took a deep breath and accepted it. He was an asshole. People liked him because he was smart. And that was all.

After graduation and throughout his life, this fact held true for Rodney. No one ever really liked him, no one was interested in him. They were only after his brain. Having come to terms with that a long time ago, McKay could give as good as he got. He let no one close and had no great expectations of friendship. It didn't hurt not to have friends anymore. He didn't let it.

When he joined the Atlantis expedition, he had no expectations at all. Just another job. Like all the rest. Except this one happened to be in another galaxy. But galaxy to galaxy, people were all the same. He wasn't going to change, and neither would they. Life goes on.

Atlantis turned out to be an entirely different ballgame.

He was Chief of Sciences on Atlantis. He had minions who did what he told them and hated his guts for being conceited and annoyingly right all the time. Same old, same old.

But he also had a team. A team consisting of two men and a woman who seemed to actually like him, and not just for his smarts. It kind of broke Rodney's massive brain a little.

He didn't change. He was pretty sure of that. He was still an asshole, if the death glares from Kavanagh and Simpson were anything to judge by. But Sheppard still sought him out after hours to ask him if he wanted to play chess. Teyla still came by to drag him to lunch. Even Ronon frequently dropped by the labs to ask if Rodney wanted to spar later.

There were evenings where they would all gather in somebody's quarters and just chill. Rodney would work on his laptop and randomly bitch about his moronic underlings. Sheppard would read or clean his sidearm. Ronon would sharpen his knives and Teyla would do yoga in the middle of the floor. Of course, they didn't always do those things, but that was the usual. They would gather together and just...be. They didn't have to be together. They _wanted_ to be together.

They wanted to be with Rodney.

McKay didn't get it. They genuinely liked him, it seemed, and not just because they wanted something from him. He could almost let himself be happy in this. But then his subconscious would rear its ugly head and remind him _no one ever likes you, McKay, you're an obnoxious arrogant asshole, they're pretending to make you feel better._

The feeling got worse when John Sheppard asked him out. They dated for a while, messed around with some semblance of a real relationship, and for a while it pleased McKay. It made him happy to be wanted. But that feeling was still there, that nagging reassurance that none of this was real.

It all came to a head on one very unremarkable night after a long and unremarkable day. Ronon was playing on John's laptop trying to figure out Minesweeper and Teyla was doing some complicated-looking stretches in the middle of the floor. Rodney was sprawled on his bed reading and John was playing around with his guitar.

And Rodney just snapped.

He sat up and glared at Sheppard. "What do you want?" he snapped.

Everyone stopped. Teyla glanced up at him from under one upraised leg. Ronon turned completely around to stare. John's fingers slipped on his guitar strings and the instrument made a forlorn whining sound. "What?"

"What. Do you want. From me?" Rodney asked again acidly. "I've been thinking and I can't figure it out, which is saying a lot for me. So what is it? I already work my ass off for all of you and god knows you get plenty of perks on the side for that. So what is it? Why... why all this being nice to me, this hanging out with me, this camaraderie thing you've got going on? What's the point? 'Cause I sure don't see it and it'd be nice to know so I can just do it and be done, forget the pretending."

Teyla blinked and slowly unfolded herself from her acrobatics. "We're your friends, Rodney."

"Yeah," Sheppard chimed. "We don't want anything-"

"Oh, of course you do." Rodney cut him off with a preemptive wave. "Everyone always does."

"Who's everyone?" Ronon snapped the laptop shut and glared at Rodney. "Cause last time I checked, everyone didn't save your ass as many times as we have."

"Come on, McKay," Sheppard said lightly, "why would we put up with you if we didn't like you."

Rodney jabbed an accusatory finger at him. "See, that right there. That's what I can't figure out. You've got the hookup in the science department, great, you can get that by smuggling me chocolate from Earth. But what is the big catch, the one big thing you're all leading up to by all this...this friendly shit." He waved his arms to encompass the previously domestic scene that had been taking place.

"Oh, Rodney." Teyla stood and came over to the bed. She started to put her hand on his shoulder, but he ducked out of the way. 

"Don't touch me," he snapped. "I'm sick of it, alright? Just ask and get it over with. I can't..." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I can't take this game anymore."

Teyla didn't touch him but sat down next to him, close enough to brush his sleeve with hers. "What game, Rodney?"

"If it's Minesweeper, it's fine, I can't figure it out either," Ronon put in.

Rodney huffed a laugh. "Minesweeper is cake, I'll show you-" He stopped himself, irritated. "No, I won't show you, because this whole 'pretending you guys like me' thing ends right now. It was nice for a little while but play pretend time is over, kids."

"Rodney," Sheppard said, "you've seen how your staff reacts to you. Nobody in this city, hell, maybe this whole galaxy, pretends to like you. They either do or they don't. And we do."

"You-" Rodney closed his eyes and sighed. "You have no idea how much I'd like that to be true. But it never, ever is." 

A hand slipped into his and Rodney opened his eyes to find his team around him. Teyla, holding his hand. Sheppard, guitar forgotten beside him, leaning intently into the huddle. Ronon, coming to stand beside him in an awkward display of solidarity.

"I like you," whispered Teyla, touching her forehead to his. McKay could hear the bond of the many days in the field together, the hours of training and laughter together.

"I _like you_ , McKay," John said in a low voice. McKay could hear the echo in his voice of the nights they'd spent together, in the dark, wrapped up in each other.

There was a brief pause. Everyone glanced at Ronon expectantly. The big Satedan shrugged. "Look, we don't play that shit on Sateda. If I didn't like you, you'd know, McKay." And McKay could hear in his voice the truth of finding a family again when everything you'd had was gone.

"Okay," he said quietly. "Okay."

And somewhere inside him, for the moment, his subconscious was finally silent.


End file.
